The Benefits of Connecting

Our personal growth and evolution (and the evolution of societies) come about as a result of connecting with our fellow humans, whether as a band of young warriors setting out on a hunt or as a group of coworkers heading out to the local pizzeria after work on Friday. As a species, we are instinctively driven to come together and form groups of friends, associations and communities. Without them, we cannot exist. Making connections is what our gray matter does best. It receives information from our senses and processes it by making associations. The brain delights in and learns from these associations. It grows and flourishes when

it's making connections.

People do the same thing. It's a scientific fact that people who connect live longer. In their gem of a book, Keep Your Brain Alive, Lawrence Katz and Manning Rubin quote studies by the McArthur Foundation and the International Longevity Center in New York and at the University of Southern California. These studies show that people who stay socially and physically active have longer life spans. This doesn't mean hanging out with the same old crowd and peddling around on an exercise bike. It means getting out and making new friends. When you make new connections in the outside world, you make new connections in the inside world in your brain. This keeps you young and alert. Edward M. Hallowell, in his very savvy book Connect, cites the 1979 Alameda County Study by Dr. Lisa Berkman of the Harvard School of Health Sciences. Dr. Berkman and her team carefully looked at 7,000 people, aged 35 to 65,over a period of nine years. Their study concluded that people who lack social and community ties are almost three times more likely to die of medical illness than those who have more extensive contacts. And all this is independent of socioeconomic status and health practices such as smoking, alcoholic beverage consumption, obesity or physical activity!

Other people can also help you take care of your needs and desires. Whatever it is you'd like in this life romance, a dream job, a ticket to the Rose Bowl—the chances are pretty high that you'll need someone's help to get it. If people like you, they will be disposed to give you their time and their efforts. And the better the quality of rapport you have with them, the higher the level of their cooperation.