Being Yourself

Do you feel nervous when you meet someone new? Physiologically, being nervous and being excited have a lot in common: pounding heart, churning tummy, high chest breathing and the general jitters. But one of these states might send you hightailing it for the nearest dark corner while the other one can serve you well and propel you forward. There is a tendency for panic to accompany nervousness, and this quite naturally makes bodily activities speed up. Because much of your nervousness stems from increased awareness, try redirecting
some of your awareness toward slowing down and being more deliberate. One great technique is to imagine that your nostrils are just below your navel and that your in-and-out breaths are happening down there. The slower you are, within reason, the more in control you will appear. 

The sooner you start telling yourself that you're excited rather than nervous, the sooner you'll be able to convince your subconscious that this is actually how you feel. And, in fact, that's really all that matters. Change your attitude, and your body language and voice tone will change to reflect your new attitude. Keep in mind that most people are as eager as you are to establish rapport. They will generously give you the benefit of the doubt.

Don't try too hard! In a study conducted at
Princeton University, students of both sexes were
questioned about their methods of sizing up people
they met for the first time. Overeagerness was
one of the most reported turnoffs. Don't smile too
hard, don't try to be too witty, don't be overpolite
and avoid the temptation to be patronizing.

As you become more at ease with your attitude, people will begin to notice characteristics that are unique to you—that set you apart from the others and define you as an individual. You will naturally and easily project the likable parts of your own unique personality and have more conscious control and confidence in your ability to create rapport at will.

It's just about impossible to be incongruent when you are operating from inside any kind of attitude, useful or otherwise. Because your attitude precedes you, it is an essential component of the first impression you make on new acquaintances.